so ive had this blog for a while now. havent untilized it as well as id like to. excuse the continuing lack of proper capitalization and punctuation. i am typing on a different kind of cell keypad today.

so heres this public journal i made with the intention of sharing the art of my most recent depression, yet i feel irritated with it.

did i want something? im not sure, but some unknown expectation of myself feels dissapointed.

what do i want?

health

happiness

love

sort of. yeah duh.

but what am i? that which i am.

i was listening to a sermon about truth this morning as i drove toward and uncertian future, and g*d did it turn something on...

#11: Freebird

#10: THE STAR

#9: Kind Of a G.

#8: In Progress

Not finished, but this ones taking a while so i'm gonna post a teaser and start another.

#7: It could happen.

Started a day ago, set down to work on the other and finished this one very simply now.

#6: I'm Sorry.

This one is kind of reverent. I'm really proud of my blood splatters. Just Finished. Started 12pm today and finished at 9:45. Been to the library and work 3-9.

#5: End It

Self-deprecation at new levels. I may or may not go back and do background. I drew it at an 8x10 instead of a 18x24.

#4: If I Die Before I Wake

I didn't appreciate how eerie and morbid this prayer I remember from my childhood. It was always on a ceramic kitschy cross near my bed. Beware of time bombs.

#3: Hello God?

This one reminds me of the 90-page flash card set I did in 2009. The cicadas are comfortable iconography for me. They and the word bubbles...

#2: There Are No Second Chances

I've gained and lost more weight than I'll ever know in my short lifetime, swinging back and forth between 265 and 122, 60-80 lbs at a time some times. My body has sustained that.

I've put chemicals in my body ranging from diet medications, herbs and rinses, laxatives ipecacs to cayanne pepper and synthetic oil. And my body has sustained that.

I've been cut, two summers in a row under the knife.

Removing a bra-shaped, 5 lbs of flesh the first time. 8 lbs the second, that looked like two large slabs of grocery meat on the table. And my body had sustained that.

But there are no second chances with a canvas of flesh. Once you trash it, it's trashed.

#1: Bless My Time In Darkness

“Bless my time in darkness

that it may simply be

a waiting within

a chrysalis

And I will emerge anew

with the warmth of the sun

to dry my wings.”

Barbara Davis-Pyles

This is the first one I did with black and white on the tablet. I recognize that it mimics Heathers fleshy paintings. Synergy?

Fall Intro

Warning: I would like to start blogging the images that I am drawing this semester and make them available for everyone in my class. It is partly in the interest of making critiques better by giving classmates time to review the work, and partly because they look really nice on an LCD screen.

As the next several weeks of class progress, I will upload pictures as they come.

These drawings are primarily drawn with a digital tablet.

I welcome any critiques or comments. But you can also just look and "enjoy". If you don't have anything you can say, maybe I've rendered you as speechless as I feel lately.

Warning: These images are ugly.